As you are dating him…. Be yourself.
You don’t enjoy cooking and cleaning…. Tell him…. Don’t go and be forming “domesticated woman of the year” to him……Cleaning everywhere feverishly and churning out one dish after another even though you are seething with resentment and you can’t wait for the wedding to be over so you can be yourself again and get a househelp kia-kia.
When he is telling you how he wants to eat a fresh soup every day….. Stay there and be nodding like a lizard…. Agreeing to everything so that you can clinch the “Mrs” title…. You have been told it’s the highest price for a woman….. And you are so desirous of becoming a “Mrs” by all means possible, including agreeing to be someone you are not.
He has told you he doesn’t want househelps after marriage…. He says his wife must cook every single thing he will eat and that no other woman must cook for him……And you continue to nod rhythmically…… Like that red-headed lizard….. Nodding away your life, your happiness and your comfort……Sheepishly agreeing while cringing inside 😩😩😩at the thought of the humongous amount of domestic work that awaits you….. But you think he will cool down after marriage and dance to your tunes “Lemme get the ring first, I will make him change his mind later”……
Nnem you are setting yourself up for a massive fall….. He has told you what he desires….. You must also tell him what you desire too….. Or do you not think you deserve to express your desires as freely as he expresses his? Hian!!!
Better tell him you only cook and clean out of “necessity” not because you enjoy it….. Tell him that you would want a househelp after your wedding….. Tell him you cannot possibly cook all his meals, and that the househelp will have to cook some of his meals….. And some of those meals will have to be frozen for him to eat the next day….. So a deep freezer and a refrigerator would come in very handy 😆😆😆
Better still tell him how much you love and appreciate men who are domesticated and can cook, clean, bath and dress up their children…… How such men have your unalloyed respect and you would expect that he would be that way disposed and help out with house chores too.
Just be yourself while dating him…. So that he will accept you in your natural state….. That way your marriage can start on the right footing and with the right foundation….. A foundation based on honesty.
Many marriages are falling apart due to foundational issues of lies and deceit….. Start as you intend to continue.
God help us all Amen 🙏
Copyright Oliaku Njeze Eneh 2017